In all relationships, there will come a time where disputes and disagreements crop up and can result in tense, ugly shouting matches. The situation can last for days or even weeks. If the disagreement is not resolved, it can crop up anytime, even years later. If the disagreement is severe, it may even impact trust in the relationship. The key point is that if the relationship is important enough then one should address the disagreement as soon as possible.
There are many ways to address disagreements depending on the severity of the argument. Some of these ways are self resolution, open discussion and third party mediation. These resolutions methods are wide and are discussion topics by themselves. However, I like to cover one method under open discussion which has proven effective time and time again.
Open discussion is an attempt to have 'a meeting of minds'. It is a verbal open discussion where each one gets to voice out their feelings and opinions. If one jumps directly into an open discussion without a preparatory set-up, negative feelings can often crop up and turn the discussion into an unproductive one. A better approach would be to write an apology love letter to open up for a discussion later.
There are benefits in writing an apology love letter. One, you have the time to collect your thoughts and weigh the implications. You can rewrite, and reword when you feel it is inappropriate. Two, writing down your feelings will also help you identify clearly the issues. It will also help you calm your own feelings.
Before writing, you must be very clear in your mind that you need to apologize. Apology does not mean admitting you are wrong. Apology can mean that the approach you used to deal with the situation is wrong and has upset the other party. However, if you are wrong, then by all means, admit that you are wrong. So, here is a structure which you can write your apology love letter. I will assume the other party is a male.
Your first paragraph is to write to say that you are sorry that you have created a situation which resulted in an uneasy situation and that it was not your intention. Second, say that the issues you raised up are important to you and need his support to see your view point. Say that you need his trust and guidance.
The second paragraph is to focus on the issue. Discuss only one issue and the most important one. State the issue and then explain how the issue has impacted you - your feelings, the implications, your self-esteem or your relationship. The focus is on how the issue has impacted you, and not the other person. This approach prevents you from using the 'blame-game' technique, which you should avoid at all cost.
The final paragraph is to reassure the other person that you value him in the relationship. Say how much he means to you in your own life. His guidance, his presence and his support are very important to you. End the letter by apologizing for the situation and that you need his guidance and understanding. If you like, end the letter by saying "I need you". This makes a very significant impact.
The main objective of an apology love letter is to calm and soothe the other person's feelings and then get them into a more conducive open discussion. You should avoid using an apology letter to explain everything. An apology love letter is just the means of getting the affected party together for an open discussion. Try it and be amazed at how well it works.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Write An Apology Love Letter
write a Love Letter
Do you want to give the person you love a romantic letter but are not good with penning your emotions? It's easier than you think. With a few keywords and a dash of memories, I will give you the recipe for an ooey-gooey...lovely letter!Things You’ll Need:
First, start the letter with a sweet introduction. "Dear" is tried and true and sweet. You can use a pet name that you already call him/her or you can use some other romantic expression such as "My Love". Or you can use more of a sentence to open it up such as...To the one who makes my heart skip a beat. Just to give you a few ideas. I always suggest using something personal, as it will mean more. When all else fails...you can always say To My "insert name" as in To My Amy,
What you need is 2 or 3 wonderful memories that you share with your love. Make sure you really think about your choices. Now, on a seperate piece of paper write down each memory and one fact about the memory that makes it so special. In example, "I'll always cherish our trip to Maui, that walk on the beach when you looked at me so lovingly, I will never forget that look in your eyes" That would be considered one Memory accompanied by a fact. Another example..."I love the way you take an average day and make it splendid, like when we were sitting inside and it began to rain, you talked me into going outside. The way you kissed me in the driving rain, just the memory of that kiss still warms my soul.
After you have finished with the above then wrap it up in a pretty bow. End the letter by giving them a lovely promise. In example...No matter what comes our way, you will always have my hand to hold OR There is nothing in the world that can take your spot in my heart, only you fit there. And then of course Love, or Love Always or whatever fits you.
How to Find the PERFECT Boyfriend at Work
If you're in search for a new boyfriend, work is the perfect place to find him. All the tools you need for finding Mr. Right are waiting for you in the work place!
Things You’ll Need:
Talk & Listen ~ Have conversations and listen carefully to what he says. Does he badmouth others? Is he critical of people's appearance? Does he seem to resent people who are more successful at life, love, work? Does he say nasty things about his ex? Remember, no relationship is free of interpersonal struggle. Someday he will likely be saying and thinking the same things about you. A pattern of negativity is an indication of big boyfriend problems down the road.
Reliability ~ You can't build a life with someone who doesn't live up to his responsibilities. Does he show up for work everyday? Is he on time? Does he have a strong work ethic? These are indications of his character. If he has a habit of dismissing his responsibilities, he'll probably have the same attitude to his commitments and responsibilities in a relationship.
Crisis Mode ~ Knowing how a man will react in a crisis is a key advantage to finding a mate in the workplace. Use naturally occurring stress as an opportunity to see how he reacts under pressure. Does he crumble? When the heat is on, does he run from the kitchen? Or does he roll up his sleeves and get down to business? His reaction to adversity will be the same on the job or in your living room. When things fall apart, as they sometimes do, you want someone who will help you pick up the pieces.
Blame Game ~ We all mess up occasionally, but for some of us it becomes a way of life. Fortunately, you can tell the difference between a genuine mistake and a behavioral pattern by watching how he deals with his own shortcomings. When he's confronted with his own errors or professional shortcomings, how does he react? Does he look for someone else to blame? Does he become confrontational? Or does he acknowledge his mistakes, learn from them, and keep working? No one is perfect, but some of us don't even have the capacity to improve. When mistakes happen in the relationship, you don't want to be his next scape-goat.
References ~ This is one of the best tools workplace romance has to offer. He's been working there for years. His coworkers have seen him under all kinds of stress. They probably know quite a bit about his personal life and romantic history. Many of them aren't his personal friends, so their opinions won't all be biased. Find a coworker who has known him for a while. It should be someone who has never dated him or competed with him in any way. Choose someone who is not a gossip. Ask them about his character and history. You don't have to get very specific. Just ask if they think he's a good guy. Let them know their answer will be held in confidence.
Decide ~ Reflect on your observations and the information you've gathered about him. Does he meet your criteria for a boyfriend? Does he send up any red flags? Do you need more time to be sure? If you still have questions, don't make a move. Bad workplace romances can be a source of gossip and can turn a pleasant job into a daily nightmare. However, if you feel confident that he'll be mature and respectful even if things don't work out, go for it. Start flirting back. Initiate some conversation. You may be looking at Mister Right!
How to Make Your Girlfriend Happy
Having a girlfriend is a lot of work. AS her boyfriend you have to know how to keep her happy. So here are some tips to keep her smiling.Things You’ll Need:
Ask her how her day was, and ask her about herself and her family. Make her the center of your conversations. It makes her feel important, and shows that you actuall care about her.
Step2 : Buy her flowers and boxes of candies just because
Don't wait for valentines day or an aniversary to give that special someone a gift. Giving her a gift just because it's thursday, or just because you think she's beautiful.
Step3 :Give her your attention when she wants it
Ok don't ignore your girlfriend. As a chick I know that my favoite time to bug my boyfriend is when he's watching a sports game. Give your girl your attention drig these games. Ignoring her makes her feel unimportant to you. Somthing as simple as kissing her imbetween plays or talking to her on the phone while watching the game will put a smile on her face.
Step4 : Pay attention to her
Remember the smallest things about her. When she gets mad at you tell her these little tid bits. It'll shock her as to how much you actally know and care about her.
Step5 : Be romantic
Candle light dinners, strolls in the park, fun little games, compliment her even if she isn't dressed up. Tell her she's beautiful even if she just woke up and has bed hair.
Step6 : Don't make sex seem like the only thing you want from her
Don't make sex seem like its the only reason you are with her. Yes, sex is important to a relationship, but it is also healthy to just cuddle every now and then. And remember, don't be a selfish lover.
Be The Perfect Boyfriend
Women have no trouble finding a mate, let alone a date. There are men around every corner vying for your girlfriend's time and attention, so you have to step your game up if you expect to keep her. Keep reading to find some simple steps that you can take to be the perfect boyfriend.
1. Clean the house. Nothing says love like a clean toilet. So surprise her one evening with a spotless house. Scrub the floors, do the laundry and fill the place with potpourri. Girls love that stuff.
2. Leave the toilet seat down. No girl ever enjoys a cold dunk in the toilet bowl at 3 o'clock in the morning.
3. Become a masseur. A great boyfriend will rub her feet when she's had a rough day. The perfect boyfriend will give her a deep-tissue massage.
Plus & Minus
- Make eye contact. Yes, her ****s are great, but don't look at them while she's talking. Look soulfully into her eyes whenever she speaks. It's OK to think about football or something that happened at work, as long as you remain locked on her beautiful blues.
- If you ever want to get close to her, don't stink. Men have all sorts of odors that are not sexy. So make sure to use deodorant, shower and brush your teeth at least once a day. Cologne will not help mask your manly smell, so don't even try it.
- When all else fails, buy her something expensive.
- Once you give her an engagement ring, these rules become null and void. The steps to being a "perfect" husband are much harder.
How to Be the Perfect Girlfriend
Are you tired of all the self-help books and articles telling you how to be a better girlfriend? Or the ones telling you merely how to be a good girlfriend. This is not one of those. If you're tired of just being "good" and want to be the "perfect" girlfriend, then keep reading. The following information is worth its weight in gold.
HOW TO MAKE A GIRL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
How To Make a Girl Fall in Love With You
You may have read or heard from your friends about ways to pick up girls. It does not always sound easy, though some guys make it look like it is. How does it work? How to make a girl fall in love with you? Well, if you have not had any luck you had better read on.
For some getting a girl of their dreams is like getting the car of their dreams. While the analogy may seem to work the process is in no way similar. You can not bargain or haggle, she is a human being! If you are in love you will find that only the words that come from your heart can work ordinary words stand no chance. Also you need to be big and strong hearted. Whether you yourself are big or strong does not necessarily have a bearing at all. A faint heart is always going to get you nowhere in your search for love.
Let us take it easy and slow. What is the first step? Making an impression, right? The first step in any exercise of romance is making the best possible first impression. If this fails then you have possibly had it with that girl unless you can afford plastic surgery or something. So what can you do to make a good first impression? Should you worry about it a lot? After all, you now know how important it is. Okay, do not sweat. This is not Mission Impossible. You have seen guys and their ways to pick up girls. You may notice that not all of them are proper Toms. As in its not necessary for you to talk, dress, and act in a loud and brash manner to get a decent girls attention.
You need to know how to make a girl fall in love with you. Try being unique, it is not that hard seeing how every human being is unique. Here are some pointers to go along with the uniqueness thing:
Dress decently. Do not dress in such a way as to look arrogant. Do not become a wallflower either. Be a man of taste.
Mind you language in front of her. Do not be obscene. You will just end up looking churlish, immature and cheap. Be a man of culture.
Avoid bad habits like smoking and excessive drinking. You will just look like a loser.
Take it easy. Do not rush things and try to respect her as a human being. Romance will happen for sure then. Good luck!
